New Year, New You? New Year, Do You!

Kickstart a refresh, no matter what month it is! Get your health off to a great start. Can you do it in just 21 days?

Any New Years Resolutions? What’s your “word” for this year? Setting goals? Dry January? Vision Board? Turning over the new year always comes with lots of questions. This year, they seemed daunting to me. Month-long challenges with multiple sub-bullets per day, remembering list of exercises and recipes, spending money on shakes or salads, giving up something completely – none of this sounded interesting or sustainable. Yet I know I’ve been struggling with my energy and mental health so I knew something had to give. I really did want a REFRESH. So here is how I tackled January 2023 with some shortcut goal-setting PLUS some hard work to come out ready to tackle the next 11 months on the other side. Don’t wait until next January to kick off your own refresh!

I did Dry January last year – no alcohol for 31 days – so I know I can do something “new” for at least four weeks. This year I committed to doing a 21 day workout and “diet” routine – I figured it’s just 3 weeks. I will give it a go for 3 weeks and see what happens. Honestly, I don’t think I had full confidence I would see much impact and figured at the end of the 21 days I’d just go back to my previous routine. Somewhere at the beginning of that 3rd week, things shifted for me…

Why 21 Days?

I was introduced to this concept at a former church who started a 21 Days of Prayer program in January one year. The idea is that is takes 21 days to form a new habit, they said. Since then, I hear it all over the place. With a quick Google search, I discovered that it apparently originated in the 1950’s-60’s with a plastic surgeon and author, Maxwell Maltz, who claimed that it took his patients a minimum of 21 days to accept their new face or adjust to their new body after an amputation and replace the mental image. The “rule” dropped the minimum, morphed and spread like wildfire through the motivational speaker scene as 21 days establishes a new habit.

While the concept has since been discredited as a blanket statement, there are ways to create new behaviors. Phillipa Lally in European Journal of Social Psychology noted that by helping tasks feel more automatic and setting up cues, these practices can feel routine in anywhere from two to eight months with an average of 66 days. Why do you think so many lay out their workout clothes the night before? Or put that floss visible next to the toothbrush?

So ultimately, the 3 weeks isn’t going to cut it apparently but stick with me. That’s why I call it a REFRESH, because my first 21 days of January so far have given a reset to my habits that I can continue forward.

What I Learned

Now that you know where my head was at on the 21 days to a new habit idea, for my January wellness REFRESH, I chose to do the 21 Day Fix workout program through Beachbody on Demand. It’s at-home, it’s accessible on my phone or Roku TV so I can push play whenever my schedule allows – and no I’m not a coach here to sell you on the program. Let’s start with my number one takeaway on my wellness journey this month:

Take what you want and leave the rest. Do you!

I share here what worked for me, not in hopes that you’ll copy it, but that you’ll see just how it can work out when you pick and choose what works best for YOU from all the bazillion health and wellness strategies out there. Just because someone shares a challenge or a plan doesn’t mean you have to take it 100% or leave it. You Do You!

Would I have loved to join a Pilates studio? I really would! But I know that with my current schedule I need flexibility and availability because some days I get workouts in at 8:30a.m. consistently and some days its 9:00pm. So a virtual program it was. I read all the materials that come with the 21 Day Fix BODi program – the food plan, the order you do each video in, etc. Did I do it as prescribed? Nope. Did I still get results? Yep! What I’ve learned about myself over the years is that if I don’t love a fitness regime, I won’t do it – at least for long. So make it into one you love, that works for you!

https://www.beachbodyondemand.com/blog/21-day-fix-hub

Give me a diet plan where I have to plan and prep ahead – not going to happen. I have to pack my kids lunches everyday and that’s enough of a chore. How about one with lots of recipes? Nope, I hate cooking in general plus I never have the right ingredients when I need them or I spend a bunch of money and then forget and don’t use it again and it goes to waste. One with lots of salads or only shakes? Yuck, would never last with this as my only food option. Have you ever tried to fast while you are handling food and making you little kids meals and snacks 5-8 times a day? It’s HARD! I would rather eat a smaller portion of what I really want or workout more/harder the next day to make up for it than deprive myself. That’s just what I’ve learned about myself based on my lifestyle.

So I didn’t do the food plan or recipes that come with the 21 Day Fix program. I did however use the calorie calculator and used that as my daily target and tracked my own food in my FitBit. (MyFtinessPal is a great option too!) I also made a point to increase the amount of protein and veggies compared to my previous food choices. But if I wanted a donut, I had the lowest calorie one on the menu and logged it. If I wanted a glass of wine, I had one and skipped dessert. Giving visibility to my food choices, also really helped me identify where I wasn’t getting the “bang for my buck” – have a 1/4 cup of trail mix (which is 1 serving) and be hungry still or have a plate full of veggies and be satisfied? Just stay smart, if weight loss is your goal the only guaranteed method is Calories In<Calories Out.

Give yourself grace if you miss a day. Make it up at the end – or don’t! I skipped a few weekend days when I just didn’t have anything left. I traded a video workout for a 3.5 mile family hike one weekend. I also didn’t do the sessions in the order provided. I chose the yoga or Pilates or even just the 10-minute abs when I was too spent. At the end when I was pushing for results and energized, I chose only the higher-calorie burning cardio workouts. How did I know they were higher-calorie burning? I logged them on my FitBit and reviewed which workouts I did during those days. That brings me to lesson 2:

Don’t just stick to what you know.

It’s key to educate yourself so you can make better choices. Here’s how that played out with my food choices. I was out and about with my daughter on a “date” who wanted a milk shake mid-afternoon. Not finding any fro-yo shops around, I started thinking where can I get a milk shake at a drive-thru. Historically, my go-to is Sonic. I also know the calorie count is through the roof because I’ve started Googling the nutrition facts for fast food restaurants before I arrive. Still I knew I would be so tempted to get my own if I took her! We compromised and I opted for Smoothie King and got my craving satisfied, saved myself 680 calories and still had a happy daughter! (I also saved big on that fat and sugar content – WOWZA!)

I also love to follow various Instagram influencers that are in my demographic. Now that I am 40, I can’t do the same exercises and diets I did when I younger and expect the same results. Metabolism and hormones change, I’ve birthed two babies, and the list can go on. I love learning new things about how to maximize my results when I’m looking to get in better shape. Here are two quick nuggets that are making all the difference in my REFRESH:

Build Muscle with Strength Training

Historically I’ve believed the blanket statement that more cardio equals more weight loss. I learned that’s not always true when I was training for my half marathon and didn’t lose any weight. Of course, you do have to ensure your calorie burn is greater than calorie intake but did you know that muscle tissue burns more calories — even when you’re at rest — than body fat? Research shows 10 pounds of muscle burns 50 calories in a day spent at rest, while 10 pounds of fat would burn only 20 calories. You can raise your resting metabolic rate by upping those muscles! Start by making your exercises do more for you. I’m talking single exercises that fire off multiple muscle groups simultaneously, like the squat press targeting those core and large lower body muscles especially. Here is a great summary of some of others to pick from. I don’t know about you, but if I can keep my workout short (i.e. 30 minutes) and work my whole body that sounds like a great deal!

Get More Protein

Many people correctly associate protein with muscle mass, as they should since protein and the amino acids that make it up are the building blocks of the muscle tissue in your body. I was great at prioritizing this when I was pregnant but have slacked off since and go straight for the energizing carbs.

The Recommended Dietary Allowance is 0.36 gram of protein per pound of body weight daily, or 54 grams for a 150-pound person. (You can get about 50 grams 3 ounces of chicken breast.) As you age, your body requires significantly more protein than a younger adult to better preserve muscle mass and strength to maintain a certain quality of life. Having sufficient protein also helps to increase the body’s immune functions and reduce recovery time from illness. That means people over age 65 should strive for 0.45 to 0.55 gram of protein per pound of body weight daily, or about 68 to 83 grams for a 150-pound person. While I’m years from 65, being proactive here seems to make sense. Let’s preserve that muscle mass now!

How Much Protein Do You Need?
Age 18-64: Body weight (lbs.) x 0.36g = Protein Intake (g)/day
Age 65: Body weight (lbs.) x 0.45-0.55g = Protein Intake (g)/day

And last but not least, lesson 3 is

You have to do the work. Have a strong “why.”

Summarizing the last 3 weeks and seeing how pleased I am with my before and after photos (stay tuned, see below) and stats may make it seem quick and easy. It’s not. Its hard to keep turning on that workout video when you are exhausted or sore, when you want to run errands instead, when you need to work, when your kids are behind you asking why you aren’t doing it like the trainer. HA! It is hard work and it may be uncomfortable, but it is possible if you put in the work.

Set your expectations now that there will be moments you want to quit. Choose an accountability partner or coach to keep you pushing through those mental walls that will come up. Having some mantras to help you push through can help to. I used some often when I was training for my half-marathon. Pick a program or class led by someone who motivates you whether its sweet encouragement or tough love. Here are a few quotes from the 21 Day Fix trainer, Autumn Calabrese, that kept me going in some of those moments.

• “You are the life you accept for yourself.”
• “Yes, it’s hard, but it’s not impossible.”
• “The people who achieve their goals are simply the ones who refuse to give up and put in the work.”
• “You are the best project you’re ever going to work on.”
• “Get comfortable being uncomfortable!”
• “You can have your dreams or you can have your excuses. You can’t have both.”

And in the words of author and speaker, Simon Sinek, find your why. Why do you want this? Why do you want to be healthier/more fit/stronger/weigh less or whatever it is you are working for? If you don’t have a reason in your mind and not just a number on a scale to visualize, it will be that much harder to see it through.

Wrapping Up My Refresh

I made it! 21 days of workouts (almost) daily and sticking to a reduced calorie diet. I’m so happy with my results: down 6 pounds and 10 inches and feeling stronger and more energized. I haven’t struggled with negative thoughts as much, so those endorphins must’ve been kicking in! In fact, I love the way I FEEL so much that I’m going to do a new program: “21 Day Fix Extreme” starting next week. I am excited to push myself even more to see what is possible in just a few weeks and maybe I’ll even hit Lally’s 66-day mark to lock in that routine.

The non-scale victories are coming in strong too. I’m now conscious of when I’m craving food to soothe emotional stressors and can make the choice to pick a better option (food or otherwise!). I’m feeling inspired again to be creative and less overwhelmed when the to-do list piles up. Don’t sell yourself short. You’ll never know what you can accomplish in just 21 days if you don’t take that first step. Do you need a REFRESH in just 3 short weeks?

References:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2020/01/9183127/21-day-rule-form-a-habit-in-21-days#:~:text=Research%20summarily%20discredits%20the%20%E2%80%9C21,months%20%E2%80%93%20to%20form%20a%20habit

https://jamesclear.com/new-habit

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15640517/

https://www.consumerreports.org/healthy-eating/how-older-adults-can-meet-their-protein-needs-a8954254493/

https://inbodyusa.com/blogs/inbodyblog/the-relationship-between-nutrition-and-muscle-growth/#:~:text=Protein%20is%20extremely%20important%20in,muscles%20slightly%20tear%20during%20exercise.

https://www.webmd.com/diet/obesity/features/8-ways-to-burn-calories-and-fight-fat

https://www.bodybuilding.com/content/essential-8-exercises-to-get-ripped.html

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Digital Shortcut to Goal Setting: Play and Pie Charts

Looking for a quick way to get those “new year’s resolutions” logged? How about a way to ensure you actually find the time to accomplish them? Here’s my fresh take..

My New Favorite Hack for Goal Setting

In the past, I was all about vision boards and goal journals and benefitted greatly from them. However, the last two years felt different as I went back to work full time (and now part time). I went short and sweet on setting goals about two weeks into the month and new year. What that looked like for me this year: Opening my (free) Microsoft To Do: Lists & Tasks app for Android > Copying my 2022 bulleted goals list > Checking off the one thing I completed and tweaking a few of the other items to carry forward and adding one. Did I get discouraged that I only got to check off one? Nope, and here’s why:

I have 9 items on the list – mostly because they all fit on one screen. They don’t have specific numbers (I don’t care if I read exactly 12 books per year anymore as long as I make time for reading.) They are brief (one or two words each) and have loose timelines like daily, quarterly, or by the end of the year. And they fall into four buckets:

1. Growth: Daily practices I want to add to my life more regularly like meditation, journaling and reading fiction books
2. Fun: Big things I want to accomplish that just bring me joy like getting a new car, booking a family trip to Disneyworld, and signing up for a class to learn Spanish
3. Social: Ways to grow in community and surround myself with more like-minded people like planning my first girls’ trip and joining a group at our new church
4. Service: Things to do to give back like participate (or lead!) in volunteer projects

Did you notice that only part of my list is around growth? For years my list started with revenue goals at work, weight loss goals on the scale, or things I thought I “should” do like organize my house. Who says goals have to be all work and no play? My recommendation is to add some fun goals to your list too! Remember, the health triangle? Don’t forget to feed all sides of your wellness: social, mental, and physical.

Oddly none of my nine goals mentioned physical health like workout more or lose a certain number of pounds. I think by putting that down in writing and then often coming up short it can be more of a deterrent for me. But it was something on my mind, so I needed to ensure I made wellness a priority and changed something over what I’d done the year before. (Note: scheduling your annual physical in December can be a great motivator to kick off January in a new direction!)

168 Hours in a Week

That’s where the last item I have on my digital goals comes in to play. The last item on my list isn’t an actual task or goal but a list on its own. I heard about this “strategy” last year and it really stuck with me. It’s the idea that we all have the same 168 hours in a week… so how are you spending it and how do you want to be spending it? Being as I excel with a spreadsheet (pun intended), I loved the concept of getting analytical and calculating how I spend my time current-state. You can get a specific as logging an entire day in minute blocks and then going back and bucketing it or you can stay high level and quickly jot down in your phone where your time is spent totaling 168 (56 hours sleeping, 40 hours working, etc.)

Actually breaking down my week was eye opening and really made me appreciate what I do well and be much more conscious about what and where I want to change things. Some of it, I really had to contemplate as to where the rest of my time was actually going (don’t forget to add your social media scrolling!).

As someone who is always saying, “I don’t have time” to commit to another project or find time for self care, or trades sleep to get things done, this was a game changer. So in my app I added a task bullet called “168 hours” and in the notes section I wrote out how I’m currently breaking down my week and notes next to each of where I want to change.

If you don’t get tactical and figure out where you are going to cut something in order to grow something else, you likely won’t succeed in forming any new habits or routines. As they say “hope is not a strategy.” This is where I made sure I added more time for social outings and exercise over the previous year.

When I look at 30 minutes 3x per week of exercise or only 1.5 hours out of 168 in a week, it seems much less daunting to find time to workout. When I see how much of my time is still going to my children when I add up after-school and weekends, it ensures I don’t let any mom-guilt take over when I try to make excuses to give up my moms’ night out or workout class.

So give it a try this year if you haven’t already locked in those goals for 2023 and go digital. Find out what is draining you and where you can shift and prioritize to make room for a little fun!

Birthday Blues

Another trip around the sun…

Birthdays. They come every year whether we like it or not.

Do you have elaborate celebrations and enjoy every minute? Or are they full of anxiety or sadness? Share yours with another holiday? Reminded of a person no longer around or regrets? Or maybe you’re apathetic and they come and go like any other day, unacknowledged?

I turned 39 last week and once again had to fight off my own birthday anxiety and disappointment.

For many, myself included, birthdays are great when you are younger: full of joy and excitement. There are often parties, presents, and lots of attention. We count down the days.

If you ask me what my top 10 favorite childhood memories are, more than half of them would be my birthday parties. My childhood celebrations were epic: homemade themed cakes by my mother, large group gatherings where I soaked up the special attention, and even double the celebrations and gifts as I celebrated with my dad’s side of the family separately (divorced parents).

• 

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Blowing out my candles with a fabulous perm. Dressed as Sporty Spice for my Halloween birthday.

Fast forward and my adult birthday anxiety likely stems from these memories – my later in life birthdays just can’t compare to those memories.

I married a man who doesn’t care one way or the other about birthdays and whose least appreciated love language is gift giving. (Don’t worry he has other redeeming qualities!) Add on two kids and I became the planner of the family and creator of memories which now means I’m often picking my own restaurant and making my own reservations.

I spend the day anxiously awaiting texts and messages full of birthday wishes. If I let my mind wander, it starts playing the narrative that “no one remembered my special day so I’m not special, not worthy, not enough” – see my previous post on my struggle with “enoughness.”

Not to mention I am now in the phase with a very prominent focus of getting older –oh the fear of aging! Thankfully I don’t really feel any of the pressure to accomplish certain things by a specific age like career goals, marriage, kids – or maybe I’ve just passed that phase. But the panic of new wrinkles or gray hairs is real.

But since I’ve started therapy earlier this year and become more aware of my thoughts and triggers, I was determined to break my bad habits, stop the pity party, and be okay with this year’s event.

Here are some of the ways I challenged my own birthday blues:

Start with mindfulness.

1. Comparison is the thief of joy, as they say. Don’t let your mind go there – comparing your Facebook messages, or lack thereof, to Amy’s isn’t helpful. Wishing you had the girls trip or surprise dinner Susie’s husband threw her only breeds resentment.
2. Recognize the negative feelings that come and breathe through them.
3. Set realistic expectations, about the day itself and how its recognized, as well as about your body, no matter your age.

Practice gratitude.

1. Appreciate those who do remember to send you wishes with deep thankfulness.
2. Relive and cherish happy birthday memories from years gone by.
3. Give grace to those who many not be great at remembering dates, who don’t have an organized calendar system, or who just don’t place as much stock in birthdays. Tell yourself it is not a reflection on your or their feelings about you.
4. List out all the things you are grateful for in your life and proud of on your unbirthdays.

Choose your own celebration.

1. Be selfish. Don’t wait around for others to pick the perfect present or plan a celebration. Do what feels right for you – treat yourself to those shoes, book your own massage, or call a friend to go to lunch. Plus, take advantage of all the places that offer birthday freebies (note: this may take some preplanning to sign up in advance). Here are some great ones!
2. Focus on someone else. This year, I spent the day chasing down resources to help a friend in need. I also love supporting an organization like The Birthday Party Project which sends age appropriate games, activities, party decor and more all wrapped up in a Birthday in a Bag to a child experiencing homelessness. (Pre-Covid, they also threw them birthday parties!)
   

So make your next birthday fun again – there is nothing more “happy” than remembering to love yourself.

This is 39!

You are Enough. Period.

What screensaver do you have on your phone right now? Pictures of your kids, pets, last vacation?

Mine is the words “You are enough.” That’s right, I have a problem with feelings of enough-ness. I’ve been working on it with a therapist throughout the past year and recognize now how often my self-worth rises and falls based on what others think. When she said these 3 little words to me one session, I just kept repeating it all afternoon whenever those feelings crept in and realized how much I need to hear it over the negative self-talk. So now it’s on my phone as a daily reminder.

Apparently its not an uncommon sentiment. According to surveys, 8 out of 10 millennials (ages 22-38) believe they aren’t “good enough” in virtually all areas of their lives. 75% of the respondents felt overwhelmed with pressure to succeed – in careers, romantic relationships, and meeting others expectations. 70% said that daily tasks like working out regularly, eating healthy and making enough money were some of the top sources of pressure, even impacting their sleep and mental health.

So clearly, its not uncommon to experience a feeling of unworthiness on occasion – we feel we just aren’t worthy of care or another’s love and affection, respect or admiration. It can change over time with age or hardships.

Self worth is your inherent value and should come from within NOT based on performance, money, appearance, academic prowess, athleticism, helping others, relationships, or family approval. It differs from self-esteem that says “I got this.” Or “I’m the best.” Self worth says “This doesn’t define me” and “This is important and I’m going to do my best.”

Unfortunately, not feeling like enough can prevent us from taking risks we might otherwise take, neglect certain relationships out of fear, shame, or guilt, and even internalize the negativity until our body suffers medical and psychological consequences. It’s not the feeling that causes concern, it’s the inability to deal with it when it does.

Your problem is you’re … too busy holding onto your unworthiness.”

– Ram Dass

So, where is all this pressure coming from?

Other People

• Attachment Style: If your childhood involved instability or a lack of consistent love and emotional presence from your primary caregivers, you may have an anxious or avoidance attachment style and struggle with intense emotional connections and develop reasons why we don’t want them, deserve them, or need them. Take a quiz to learn your attachment style here.
• Parental attention: Did your parents give you more attention on the field than for your art projects? Often achievement-based-worthiness starts based on parental reinforcement.
• Romantic partners: Past toxic relationships can impact future relationships. Being a survivor of emotionally or physically abusive romantic relationships can lead to low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness.
• Peers/friends: Do you feel more favored in a group when your looks or talents are valued? Does your friend group worry about comparison to others?

Culture

• Media: The media tells us we aren’t enough. Advertising hinges on a lack or need to get us to buy more. Social media creates a constant comparison, often to perfection.
• Pressure to Succeed: American culture is one of achievement that highly values drive and ambition, assuming obligation to say yes – to work more hours, to join more groups, and to looking like we have it all together. We give our children participation medals and push them to graduate with top grades in advanced classes.
• Major Life Events: Living up to your own expectations or other’s standards during big changes and new stages in life can create pressure.
• Religion: In the Christian tradition, I often think that pastors and teachers tend to focus on our sinfulness and valuing others above yourself, which while honest and virtuous ignore the also important love of self and inherent value as a child of God. I would love to see more sermons preaching self-care in response to Jesus’s commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt 22: 37-39).

Depression

• A mood disorder: Feelings of worthlessness are a common symptom of depression. If they persist or are severe, please recognize that these feelings are not your fault and seek the help of a professional counselor as soon as possible.

So how do we recover our self-worth?

Feelings of guilt, self-doubt, and sadness can make it hard to stay motivated and accomplish what you want. While these feelings can be deep-rooted, you can work on freeing yourself from this thinking. With small changes to your daily routine to help beat those negative feelings and professional counseling, it is totally possible to recover your internal self-worth, even if it is a lifelong process.

1. Acknowledge the feelings. Feeling unworthy is a natural reaction to some stresses in life. Acknowledging the emotion can help us access our natural resilience as humans to gravitate toward peace and wholeness.
2. Deal with the past. Look back on other points in life when you felt this way. Somewhere along the way you concluded you aren’t enough because of how others reacted toward you. Every time these thoughts appear, let them float by. Learn more about attachment styles and how to grow in secure relationships. A Secure Relationship on Instagram is a great starting resource to understand attachment styles impact on relationships.
3. Challenge your mindset. Ask yourself: Would you ever talk to your friend or your child the way you talk to yourself? Create new self talk to replace the current negative stories. Literally make a list of the things you tell yourself about your worth and enough-ness in the left column and then strike through them and replace them with the truth on the right. Challenge the self-critical thoughts: “I’m stupid”, “I will be laughed at”, or “I’m unlovable.”

Example:
Negative Story: I’m a bad mom if I don’t volunteer in my child’s classroom.

New Self Talk: My child is loved and taken care of and feels my genuine interest in their school day and schoolwork.

4. Start new habits.

• Every day when you look at yourself in the mirror say one nice thing to yourself about yourself. If you can’t say anything yet, start with a high five in the mirror. Check out Mel Robbins new book #ad on her habit that is revolutionizing people across the world. It is actually scientifically proven that you can’t think negative thoughts while doing the high five motion.
• Exercise can give you a rush of endorphins, boost your mood, and provide a sense of accomplishment.
• Mindfulness: Take a step back to consider your own thoughts and feelings in the moment through meditation, journaling, and relaxation.
• Pick a mantra to repeat and meditate on. It may be as simple as “I am strong, I am loved, I am worthy, I am enough.”
• Set reminders – sticky notes on your mirror, your phone background. I even bought myself a ring #ad with the above mantra because I need the reminder often.

5. Get a new buddy. Surround yourself with others that don’t make you feel less than you should. They should encourage you and value your strengths and not perpetuate feelings of comparison.
6. Do what makes YOU happy. Pick something and do it just because you enjoy it. Not because it’ll end up on your resume or make for a great conversation at your next dinner party or because you don’t want the boss or PTA president frowning at you at the next meeting.
7. Focus on the little things. Take each day one step at a time. Set small, achievable goals for yourself, and take pride in reaching them. Remember, everyone’s journey in life looks different and no one can do everything at once!
8. Create an introduction. Come up with how to introduce yourself that doesn’t involve your job, title, or other “labels.” Be justifiably proud of your talents and strengths. Everyone has things they’re good at and confident doing.
9. Break the cycle. Respond to your loved ones successes and failures with love and acceptance. Model a new way for future generations.
10. Therapy. Healing old wounds is the only way to ensure that negative experiences in the past don’t affect your ability to carry out healthy and happy relationships in the present. If paying for therapy out of pocket isn’t an option for you, be sure to check with your health insurance provider, college health center, employee benefits, or reach out to a community mental health center near you to find out about more affordable options. There are even online resources like betterhelp.com.

Impact on Self Care

While logically many of us believe the messages we internalize aren’t realistic, we’ve still let them condition our self-worth. Saying no, pulling back, going through a season of hard things doesn’t make you any less lovable, worthy, or capable.

It means your human.

And yes being human can be hard, messy, confusing, and unfair.

Do you feel like you don’t deserve to be taken care of? If you have an achievement based definition of success, your self-worth will also be about outcome – counting steps, calories, pounds – and you’ll feel less worthy of self-care.

But self care is about self-respect – you deserve respect. Regard self-care as something naturally part of your day for your wellness. Taking good care of yourself builds self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence. It doesn’t mean lowering the bar on achievement, but it means that there is a baseline of worth that you cannot go below. As much as I appreciate those who are driven, you don’t need to earn your worth. It already and always exists.

It’s never to late to start loving yourself enough to take good care of yourself. The pattern of unworthiness might have been with you for decades. Be patient. Give it time and loving attention, and it will loosen its grip.

You are enough. You are worthy and loved BEFORE you achieve a single thing.

You have value – end of story.

Sources:

https://ideas.ted.com/do-you-ever-feel-like-youre-not-enough/

https://www.studyfinds.org/inferiority-complex-8-in-10-millennials-believe-they-arent-good-enough/

Always Left Feeling Not Good Enough? The Real Reasons Why – Harley Therapy™ Blog

https://www.elitedaily.com/p/heres-why-people-can-feel-unworthy-of-love-according-to-psychologists-22890693

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-feeling-unworthy#4

https://gailbrenner.com/2011/01/feeling-unworthy/

Feeling Worthless: Why You Feel Like You’re Unworthy, And How To Beat It | Regain

Listen to the Most Relaxing Song Ever

“Music can heal the wounds which medicine cannot touch.”

– Debasish Mridha

The kids are running around the living room in circles….which means the dogs are chasing them, barking, loudly….my husband is watering the plants out back…I’m trying to make dinner so it will be ready at a decent hour. I’m also highly sensitive and overwhelmed easily. So here is my go to when things get too stressful quickly –First, I send those kids and dogs out back. Then I ask my Alexa Echo Dot to play “Weightless” by Marconi Union.

I can’t recall where I first heard about this song but it stuck with me. By the end of the song (its relatively long at 8 minutes), I’m much calmer! And according to science I actually am.

So whether you are having a momentary stressful moment like my dinner hour, or you are experiencing chronic stress, finding ways to manage stress levels are important to your health. We know that stress causes chemicals like cortisol to be released that increases health risks like heart disease, depression, and many others.

Music therapy is available and studies have long shown that music can impact performance and mood. But the British Academy of Sound Therapy took it a step further and partnered with the Manchester band Marconi Union to produce a relaxation song featuring guitar, piano, and electronic sounds of natural landscapes that can actually lower blood pressure, slow heart rate, and reduce cortisol (the stress hormone) at never before seen rates – “Weightless.”

It starts at 60 beats per minute (bpm) and slows to around 50bpm which allows your heart rate to fall into sync with the beat after about 5 minutes, so make sure you listen to the end. The lack of repetitive melody prevents your brain from trying to predict what comes next so it can essentially “check out.”

Neuroscientists have confirmed that “Weightless” is 11% more relaxing than any other song including the likes of Mozart and Enya. Anxiety dropped by 65%, even below the participant’s usual resting rate.

It should be noted, that some women were so relaxed they became drowsy so its been advised against driving while listening to this song!

So I hope you’ll take this little calm-down hack and incorporate it into your days when they get hectic. I even created a playlist with the Top 10 Most Relaxing Songs according to the study just for you – enjoy!

Here is the full list of the songs found to be most relaxing – Download the playlist on Spotify Now!

Top 10 Most Relaxing Songs

1. “Weightless,” by Marconi Union
2. “Electra,” by Airstream
3. “Mellomaniac (Chill Out Mix),” by DJ Shah
4. “Watermark,” by Enya
5. “Strawberry Swing,” by Coldplay
6. “Please Don’t Go,” by Barcelona
7. “Pure Shores,” by All Saints
8. “Someone Like You,” by Adele
9. “Canzonetta Sull’aria,” by Mozart
10. “We Can Fly,” by Rue du Soleil (Café Del Mar)

There’s also a free 10-hour version of “Weightless” available if you want a longer listening experience.

Or grab the CD or Stream on Amazon #ad:

Sources:

https://www.heysigmund.com/its-the-most-relaxing-song-ever-and-it-can-do-this/

Put your Social Media on a Diet

If you are like me, despite all its faults (yes I’ve seen The Social Dilemma on Netflix), you still want to be connected to the world through social media. I love the benefits of keeping me in community, learning about local events, and keeping in touch with friends and family we’ve never before had such opportunities to do so. But it also negatively impacts my sleep and prevents me from taking time for self-reflection, among other things. So I’ve really worked to make some positive changes in my social media consumption and hope to pass on a few to you!

Does looking at people’s “picture perfect” lives on Facebook and Instagram leave you feeling depressed, bad about yourself, or even lonelier? Do cousin Jimmy’s political posts leaving you angry? Does your grade school BFF constantly post frustrating conspiracy theories without fact checking?

You may already be having a bad day, anxiety about whats going on in the world, or feeling like you’ve got too much on your plate. No need to feed that negative energy with more negative feelings: jealousy, sadness, loneliness, and the dreaded FOMO (fear of missing out). It’s time to clean up your feeds and replace the negative with some positive, encouraging vibes!

While social media can support healthy relationships and our connectivity to our communities, let’s put it on a diet and make what we’re consuming helpful for building us up instead of tearing us down.

Favor just one.
First, cut down the number of social platforms you use. Pick the one or two that you enjoy the most. If you love real-time updates, Tweet and Snapchat. If you love beautiful imagery, Instagram is your happy place. If you like both news and personal updates, Facebook is a good spot. You can also remove the apps from your phone so you can only check your social media sites on a tablet or computer.

Turn off alerts.
Turning off notifications can help you regain control of your time and focus. Pick select times during the day to check in and get updates and then turn it off again. There are apps that can automatically limit when you’re able to access your phone.

Clean up the negative.
Focus on quality, not quantity. While it may seem great to stay in touch with all your grade school classmates, high school teammates, and college exes, if you are likely only to see these people at your 25 year reunions, there is no need to see the details of their lives day in and day out…

Facebook

• Unfollow personal or group accounts that you don’t need to see on a regular basis. You can still check in on the personal accounts when needed and the group pages will still show on your group tabs.
• Prioritize the accounts you don’t want to miss. Whether it’s a best friend, cousin, or a crush, or a favorite inspirational account, you might just want to put them to the top of your News Feed. You can do this by going into your News Feed Preferences, tapping Prioritize Who To See First, and then tapping accounts you want to add to this setting.
• Hide ads, individual posts or all posts from someone (that maybe you aren’t friends with but commonly shows up in your feed based on your friend’s interactions with).
• My favorite feature is Snooze…You can choose to hide someone’s posts for 30 days at at time. Need a break during political season or while you are dealing with grief? Give yourself a temporary pause from a specific account.
• Don’t forget your stories! To mute a story, just tap a story from the person, page or group you’d like to mute, tap more in the top right of their story, and tap Mute [Username], then tap Mute to confirm.

Rest assured, Facebook users don’t get notified that they’ve been muted, unfollowed or snoozed and you can always “reconnect” if needed. If you aren’t familiar how to execute these functions, here is a great tutorial.

Instagram

Instagram also has some great built-in tools to help put your feed and stories on a diet too!

• A built in timer and reminder. Check out Your Activity page in the menu of your Profile. You’ll se the average time you’ve spent on Instagram over the past week. You can also set a daily reminder function to cut back on your usage.
• Unfollow accounts you don’t interact with. Tap the Profile icon in the bottom-right then, tap Following to see a list of everyone you follow. You’ll see Least Interacted With and Most Shown in Feed. Take action!
• Mute stories OR posts! To mute content from an account, visit their profile. Tap the Following box and select Mute from the list that comes up. Use the sliders to mute Posts and/or Stories.

Here is a practical guide with tips on how to clean up your IG account.

Act on the positive.

After a good tidying, start to comment, interact with, and like those you want to see more of in your feed. Like, comment and share stories you like. It seems obvious, but most people don’t take action on content they do want to see more of. But that’s exactly how social sites know what to serve you more of.

Instead, there are plenty of encouraging, uplifting and funny accounts to follow including people you actually want to get updates on. Have you ever heard the quote: you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time around so choose wisely? Same applies here.

What are the people you “surround” yourself with on social media doing, how are they behaving, how do they treat and talk about others, what are their goals and ambitions? When we’re done with today’s tidying, make sure those you see and interact with regularly on your feed are: inspired, motivating, grateful, passionate, and open minded.

• Find people who share your interests. For example, if you like reading, you could join a book club. If you’re a runner, find yourself a running club. If your child has a certain allergy or learning challenge, find others in the same situation. Because you’ll already have something in common, it will be easier to form an initial connection.
• Join or promote worthwhile causes; raise awareness on important issues.
• Discover (with care) sources of valuable information and learning.

Here are some of my favorite accounts on Facebook and Instagram that encourage my physical, mental, and social wellness. Feel free to leave some of your favs in the comments below!

Fitness & Body Image

1. Advice on Fitness

Bio: Health & Wellness Website
🏋️‍♀️ Daily Health and Fitness Advice
🔥 Helping you to achieve your goals
Instagram Handle: @adviceonfitness
Instagram Followers: 100k

2. Body Image Therapist

Bio: Ashlee Bennett, AThR she/her
Therapist
Art therapist & counsellor
Author of The Art of Body Acceptance
Weight inclusive workshops & online group programs
Art therapy acc: @makeartaboutit
linktr.ee/bodyimage_therapist
Instagram Handle: bodyimage_therapist
Instagram Followers: 128k
Website: https://www.bodyimage-therapist.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bodyimagetherapy

3. Get Mom Strong

Bio: Ashley|Postpartum Core Trainer
Helping moms regain strength & confidence! ⁣
𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 (𝗦𝗟𝗔𝗠)™️
✨Kick-butt fitness program
✨Pre & Postpartum, Diastasis Recti, Prolapse
Instagram Handle: @getmomstrong
Instagram Followers: 221k
Website: https://getmomstrong.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/getmomstrong

4. Revelation Wellness

Bio: Redeeming Fitness w/a Radical Savior. | Love God. Get Healthy. Be Whole. Love Others.| Instructor Traininglinktr.ee/revelationwellness
Instagram Handle: @revelationwellness
Instagram Followers: 34.7k
Website: https://www.revelationwellness.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/revelationwell

Mental Health & Motivation

1. Mel Robbins

Bio: Author
MY NEW BOOK is here on 9/28/21!
@high5habit 🙌
⬇️ Preorder for FREE gifts from me⬇️
Instagram Handle: @melrobbins
Instagram Followers: 1.4m
Website: high5habit.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins

2. Holistically Grace

Bio: Maria Sosa, MS, MFT, Therapist she/her
💡Tips + tools for your mind, body + relationships
📌Writer, educator, speaker
host @mindmeetsbodypodcast
👇Free ebook 👇
linktr.ee/holisticallygrace
Instagram Handle: @holisticallygrace
Instagram Followers: 271k
Website: https://www.holisticallygrace.com/

3. Wisdom of Anxiety

Bio: Sheryl Paul Counselor
Anxiety is a messenger / MA in Jungian Counseling / She/Her / Oprah guest / Raising two sensitive sons with my devoted husband ❤️ Books and Courses👇🏼linktr.ee/sherylpaul_wisdomofanxiety
Instagram Handle: @wisdomofanxiety
Instagram Followers: 88.7k
Website: https://conscious-transitions.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ConsciousTransitions

Parenting

1. Big Life Journal

Bio: Shopping & Retail👍Recommended by psychologists & therapists
🧠 Mindset is everything. Teach it early.
👇 Get our FREE Friday printables for ages 4+
lnk.bio/biglifejournal
Instagram Handle: @biglifejournal
Instagram Followers: 491k
Website: https://biglifejournal.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/biglifejournal

2. The Mom Psychologist

Bio: Dr. Jazmine | Parenting
Psychologist🤎Real + practical parenting info + inspo
👑Founder: @themomsisterhood
👧🏽👧🏽 Mom of 2
👇🏽QUIZ: WHAT’S YOUR PARENTING STYLE?👇🏽www.themompsychologist.com/instagram
Instagram Handle: @themompsychologist
Instagram Followers: 282k
Website: www.themompsychologist.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/themompsychologist

3. Seed and Sew

Bio: Community
🧠How to build emotional intelligence from infancy
🤝The Village Membership: shame-free parenting community
🧑‍🏫S.E.E.D. Certified®️Childcare
👇Courseswww.seedandsew.org/links
Instagram Handle: @seed.and.sew
Instagram Followers: 140k
Website: www.seedandsew.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/seedandsew.org

Relationships & Sex

1. Dr. Tracy D

Bio: Dr. Tracy Dalgleish  she/her
EducationRelationship Expert | Author | Speaker
Podcaster | Mom of 2
Contributor to @ctvottawamorninglive
@mother.ly@huffingtonpost_@bustle@mediumdrtracyd.com/instagram
Instagram Handle: @dr.tracyd
Instagram Followers: 75.2k
Website: https://drtracyd.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTracyD

2. My Love Thinks

Bio: DR MORGAN| RELATIONSHIP EXPERT
Practical advice for YOU and your RELATIONSHIPS!
Text #question to 📱 (954) 466-7426
Relationship expert + speaker + author
Links 👇🏼linktr.ee/mylovethinks
Instagram Handle: @mylovethinks
Instagram Followers: 90.4k
Website: https://mylovethinks.com/

3. The Secure Relationship

Bio: Psychotherapist Julie Menanno MA
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
Author
Relationship healing, practical skills, scripts linktr.ee/thesecurerelationship
Instagram Handle: @thesecurerelationship
Instagram Followers: 471k
Website: https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thesecurerelationship

4. The Gottman Institute

Bio: A research-based approach to relationships.
We do not offer individual advice via social media. Find a therapist on the Gottman Referral Network.
linkin.bio/gottmaninstitute
Instagram Handle: @gottmaninstitute
Instagram Followers: 630k
Website: https://www.gottman.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GottmanInstitute

General Inspiration & Laughter:

1. Humans of New York

Bio: New York City, one story at a time. Created by Brandon Stanton. Humans of New York is audience supported:
bit.ly/HONYPatreon
Instagram Handle: @humansofNY
Instagram Followers: 11.4m
Website: https://www.patreon.com/humansofnewyork
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork

2. The Holderness Family

Bio: 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 We make goofy videos and lose phone chargers
🎙 Check out our podcast: Holderness Family Podcast
📖 Order our book: Everybody Fights
linktr.ee/theholdernessfamily
Instagram Handle: @theholdernessfamily
Instagram Followers: 643k
Website: https://theholdernessfamily.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheHoldernessfamily

3. Stories of a Mediocre Mom

Bio: Amanda Marcotte she/her
BloggerFalmouth, MA 💙
⬇️Watch my Highlight. You won’t be disappointed.
Ramblings seen on @todayparents@huffpost@buzzfeed@buzzfeedparents@scarymommy
lnk.bio/storiesofamediocremom
Instagram Handle: @storiesofamediocremom
Instagram Followers: 39.9k

Face-to-Face can’t be replaced

And last but not least, put down the device. Social wellness depends on healthy, interpersonal relationships. We all need the face-to-face interaction to improve our social health. At its best, social media is a great tool for facilitating real-life connections. Reach out to an online friend or club and arrange a meet up for coffee, exercise, or a hobby. Lots of other people feel just as uncomfortable about making new friends as you do—so be the one to break the ice. Set aside time each week to interact offline with friends and family. Try to make it a regular get-together where you always keep your phones off! Anyone free Thursday?! 🙂

My Top Tips for Beginning Runners

Of course, there is a wealth of information on the internet. And I’m far from the expert on all things running. But today I just touch on some of what I found worked for me as I went from couch to 5k and on to a half marathon in just over 1 year. Hopefully you can take away something to add to your routine if you are interested in becoming a runner. Remember, all it takes is one small step at a time!

Take Care of your Body and Health

First off, always consult your doctor and any relevant medical professionals before starting this or any other exercise or diet plan. If running will be too stressful on where your body is, choose a lower intensity form of exercise instead.

If you need to address your diet or supplements, get those in order. For me, in addition to my normal supplements I also started taking an Omega 3 supplement which has been shown to help athletes with exercise-induced asthma.

Types of Runs

Did you know that running was more complex than just shoes to pavement? There isn’t just one way to run or one training schedule you have to follow. Compare a few, try them out and then pick what works for you.

There are so many ways to keep it interesting and pushing your body. Depending on the type of run, you can build strength one day and endurance the next. This graphic does a great job highlighting some of your options.

Types of Runs – Strava.com

Training Plans

I did a quick search on Pinterest and found lots of recommendations depending on distance goal and how many weeks. I’d say the majority are 10-16 week plans. Since I had a much longer period until my planned race, I went old school made an excel spreadsheet with my exact number of weeks and weekly schedule and posted it on my bathroom mirror so I could easily see if I was on track and add notes of anything important that impacted my plan.

But there are also so many apps available such as Couch to 5k or Couch to 10k or a comprehensive mile tracker like RunKeeper (all free), which I did use to track my total miles ran in the year.

Examples of Half Marathon Training Schedules -Pinterest

How to Set your Goal Times

Pace, or the number of minutes you can run one mile, depends on a number of factors, including your fitness level and genetics. How fast you run is important in distance running because you may need to conserve energy to finish strong.

A noncompetitive, relatively in-shape runner usually completes one mile in about 9 to 10 minutes. If you’re new to running, you might run one mile in closer to 12 to 15 minutes as you build up endurance.

To find your average pace per mile you can easily reference your fitness tracker #ad or you can calculate it yourself by mapping out a one mile flat surface at a track or around your home and timing yourself running one mile. MapMyRun.com or OnTheGoMap.com can help in measuring your route.

Once you know your pace, you can calculate your estimated finish time for a given distance or race. Below is a quick reference chart. Many races ask for your goal finish time when you register. For in-person races, a pacer, or an experienced runner that runs at a set speed, is provided for various paces. You “keep up” with this person and it keeps your mind off worrying about your pace and finish at your desired time. They help you conserve energy, avoid weaving in and out of other runners, keep a steady pace, and can even motivate you and cheer you on.

Get the Right Gear

Runners aren’t exactly known for their beautiful toes. Blisters, calluses, and even lost toenails or worse…but you can get the right gear to help minimize the ugliness. While you can start out in whatever cross trainers you have, if you are going to dedicate some time to running, your shoes can make a huge difference. Choose ones specifically for running. Running stores can help measure your feet and arches and answer all your questions. I love my Brooks Ghost shoes and am almost ready to get new ones since you also should switch out your running shoes every 300 to 500 miles!

I definitely started getting blisters on the tips of my toes the more miles I put in. I quickly upgraded my socks and on the longest runs would prep my toes (and other likely-to-chafe places) with some body glide. #ad

Speaking of chafe, picking proper running attire is super important as well. I personally love to run in shorts and tanks with sports bras and switch to a lightweight moisture-wicking long sleeve top and legging in the colder temps.

Stretching

Shifting from contracted or shortened muscles to stretched ones quickly increases the risk of injury. So it’s important to stretch before AND after a run. It can also improve the quality of your workout. Historically, a pre-run warmup included static stretches like touching your toes or arms stretched across the chest but new research suggests dynamic stretching, gentle repetitive motions, is much preferred. It replicates the motions of your workouts and gradually increases motion and circulation and includes stretches like arm swings, lunges, or knee swings.

For me personally, when I don’t stretch enough I get “runner’s knee.” I learned how important pre-and post-run stretches are but not just for the knees. A lot of knee pain can be related to weak hip and glute strength so those areas should be exercised and stretched as well.

Recovery is another important component of your training as well. Foam rolling is a form of self-massage that helps loosen muscle tightness. You use a foam roller to roll out tight muscles. #ad

Hydrate and Fuel

Since I already eat a pretty healthy balanced diet I didn’t focus on a specific meal plan during my training but I highly recommend looking into eliminating things that don’t make you feel light and energetic. So I’m going to focus on the top two things that can help everyone regardless of diet: hydrate and fuel. Bring water with you when you run, or run on a route with water available, so you can stay hydrated as you train. Some local running groups provide water along popular routes in our area. I prefer to use a belt and take my own water. It’s also great for holding my phone, etc. #ad

When you don’t eat before a run and don’t fuel during a run, your body has no carb store to draw from and it burns fat.  So, you need to not only carb-load, but also fuel during your race with a sports drink and a gel or chew. You have to practice this during training runs and figure out what kinds of fuel work for you. There are many different ones out there to choose from, and they vary from texture to taste. My favorite ended up being Honey Stingers chews. #ad

Breathing and Posture

The two biggest learnings I had on my journey were about breathing techniques and posture while you run and what I huge impact they have on your success. There are obviously different methods and recommendations out there. I kept it simple and visual and am sharing below what I used:

Let’s sift through all the little tricks to remember and go straight to the American Lung Association as the experts. Remember to use belly breathing and a 5-step pattern: 3 steps as you inhale and 2 steps as you exhale (i.e. As you step: inhale left, right, left; exhale right, left, right; inhale left, right, left; exhale right, left, right). This 3:2 pattern will give you a lower heart rate and help you get more oxygen. As your pace gets faster, keep this balance but aim to take 2 footsteps for each inhale and 1 for each exhale as shown in the graphic below.

A 3:2 or 2:1 breathing pattern is recommended for running by the American Lung Association – lung.org

Also important to study is your running posture. I love referencing a graphic because it becomes visual for me to replicate with my own body. For me, my natural inclination is head down to “push” ahead, right? (Plus I may be watching for possible snakes if I’m outside!) It’s actually proper to run looking straight ahead and press forward with your pelvis. I also suffer from the “hands too tight” error and have to remind myself to unclench my fists and relax while running. Sometimes I even shake my hands out briefly.

Proper Running Form (Source: http://www.workoutbox.net)

Staying Motivated

Keeping your motivation up is hard if you have a long time to train until your race. Here are a few things that helped me keep going when the going got tough.

• Just sign up! In-person or virtual, having paid the money and penciled the date on my calendar made it real and made me push myself harder. Some of my favorite race offerings with fun medal to collect:
  • Ventures Endurance
  • Virtual Run Events
  • RunSignUp.com
  • YesFit
• Race for a cause! Join a race that supports a cause you really believe in. It’s also a great way to invite friends to run with you.
• Join themed races where you are encouraged to wear costumes like these fun tutus and tanks #ad:

• Earn actual CASH for your efforts with MyAchievement.com – Choose from 20+ popular apps including AppleHealth, FitBit, RunKeeper, and Strava and start earning points for activities such as running, walking, meditating, logging meals, and answering questions about yourself. Earn $10 for every 10,000 points, redeemable via PayPal, direct deposit to your bank account, or by donating your points directly to charity. Rewards are paid within 7 business days.
• Celebrate yourself! Get a bracelet or shirt as a reminder of all you worked for. And I hang all my medals in a prominent spot in my closet to remind myself of all I’ve accomplished. #ad

• Join some online accountability/run groups. Facebook likely has some from your local area. Local running stores can also have their own community group.

Running Through My Mind (Pun Intended!)

My mind is all over the place when I’m running. For me, I either need to distract myself (from the thought that I’m ready to quit lol!) or focus in on what I’m trying to accomplish. Here are a few things I’ve found that help. I rotate through them depending on my mood that day and what type of run I’m doing.

• Repeat a mantra inside your head can keep you focused on those words and not on your fatigue. Also, putting encouraging, motivating words in your head helps you eliminate all negative words. Having a few “running mantras” really helps me push through the miles when I’m feeling like stopping before the distance I’ve set. I just repeat them over and over in my head to the rhythm of my feet on the pavement. Here are some of my favorites:
  • Think strong. Be strong.
  • I own this run. I own this outcome.
  • My legs are stronger than my brain.
  • I don’t stop when I’m tired. I stop when I’m finished.

• Play a mental game with yourself to pass a mark. When you pass that mark, set a new target. This helps keep your mind on the physical target and not on how tired you are. When I feel like I don’t know if I can make it any farther, I pick a landmark (stop sign, bench, etc) and just focus on getting to that point. Other times I start counting to 100…my only goal in that moment is to take 100 steps. It feels manageable and then I just start the next 100 and realize I can go a little farther than I thought I could.
• If you are running indoors on a treadmill or track (or feel you can safely run outdoors with an earbud in #ad -see below safety tips), I highly recommend listing to music, podcasts, or audiobooks.
  • My favorite find: run to a playlist based on beats per minute or BPM for an subconscious way to keep or increase your pace. As a basic guideline, the tempo range is 120 to 125 BPM for a slow run and 140 to 145 BPM for an all-out effort. If you’re aiming for synchronicity (to keep your running at a consistent pace, or if you’re trying to increase your cadence), then the ideal tempo range is 150 to 180 BPM. Search “running” on Spotify to find a long list of playlists based on BPM or choose another playlist from the running genre.
  • I made great use of my year long Audible Christmas gift subscription. There are free running motivation tracks that will give you a pep talk in your ear specific to your mileage goal or go for a good motivational audiobook from strong women like Mel Robbins, Brene Brown, or Glennon Doyle. #ad

Safety Running Outdoors

I would be remiss to not also note that you should always take precautions and be aware of your surroundings when running outdoors.

• Run against traffic and follow all road rules including cross walks.
• Run in well-lit areas and wear reflective gear in the early morning or evening hours.
• Run with a friend, family member or dog if possible. If not, tell someone where you are going. Carry ID and/or phone with you in case of emergency.
• It is recommended that you don’t wear headphones when running on roads so you need to be able to hear traffic around you and remain aware of your surroundings. As long as I’m in a safe area or running with a buddy, I like to put just one earbud in so that I get my music/audiobook (see above) and can still hear my surroundings.
• Wear sunscreen!

Race Day Checklist

Congratulations! You’ve been building up the miles and are ready to conquer! Take the fear out of the unknown and talk to others who’ve raced a similar race before. Here are my final recommendations for a successful race day:

• Lay out your clothes and accessories the night before.
• Eat a good breakfast (one that you’ve eaten before practice runs!).
• Bring throw-away clothes (checkout second hand stores) and peel off layers if you are racing in colder temps.
• Make a plan with your support crew/spectators at checkpoints and finish line meetup.
• Go to the bathroom before your race starts.
• Line up near your estimated finish time pacer.
• Don’t take any fuel from race stations unless you’ve tried it before. But do take water at every station. Better yet, take your own tried and true fuel and water in a running belt. #ad
• Plan for post-race recovery. Drink extra water, have a snack, keep walking/stretching for a while afterwards, and don’t plan anything too strenuous for the next few days.
• Enjoy! Take in the scenery, the spectators, and your fellow runners.

Happy Running!

If you’ve already run a long distance race, what beginner’s tips did I miss?

Sources:

https://www.healthline.com/health/average-mile-time

https://runninforsweets.com/

https://www.yalemedicine.org/news/how-to-stretch-before-run

Couch to Half Marathon during a Pandemic

This morning I was reminiscing on why I didn’t run at all for 20 + years… I have exercise induced asthma….. And I’m also now a half marathon runner!

I am training for awesomeness. I mean I am training for a half marathon. Same thing, really. -someecards

I let the excuse that I developed exercise induced asthma in high school hold me back for years. Every time I would try jogging or a fast dance class or even the jump rope, after any sign that I was getting out of breath I gave up and told myself that it wasn’t meant to be.

Until July 2019….I attended a women’s motivational conference where we were asked to set some audacious goals. I had stumbled into running short distances on a treadmill at the gym a few months before when I was late to a Pilates class and didn’t want to head straight home. I surprised myself that I could actually do some interval running (run a little, walk a little) and not get completely out of breath. Still not even slightly interested in running outdoors despite my husband’s prodding to have a partner, I shocked myself when one of my 10 dreams identified at this conference was to run a 5k. The seed was planted.

Want to know how I ended up running a half marathon just over 14 months later? One step at a time.

I signed up for a Halloween themed 5k fun run with my husband (who is a regular runner) for mid-October. Nothing like a deadline and a financial commitment to seal the deal! Then I started running on a treadmill 2-3 times a week largely because I needed their childcare and lets face it, Texas summers are HOOOOTTT.  I also feel like turning on my favorite Netflix binge on the treadmill’s personal TV helps pass the time quickly so I’m not dwelling on how much farther I have to run.  I slowly added miles to my routine until I had hit the 3.1 mile mark (5k).

Treadmill vs. Outdoor Running

As the race approached, I decided I should try my feet outdoors in preparation for the race. My husband pushed our toddler in a jogging stroller and I trailed behind them. What a disappointment….it was so much harder and I didn’t even make it close to 3 miles.  Those in the know will of course recommend you try using a 0.5% or 1% incline to better mimic the conditions of outdoor running but I hadn’t incorporated this at the time.

Luckily I didn’t quit that day. I just added some outdoor runs to my schedule, even if it meant pushing my little one in the jogging stroller (which is tough pushing that added weight!). I celebrated every accomplishment and shared it on social media for the extra encouragement from my friends and family. 

“Farthest I’ve ever run outside! Ever! Getting closer! #48daystil5k (2.42miles, 11.31 pace)”

The morning of the 5k I was nervous. The temperatures were in the 50s…not great for my exercise-induced asthma. I took my inhaler 30 minutes before the race began and tried to pump myself up by taking in all the energy from the other runners and their costumes.  (By the way, I pieced together our Mario & Luigi costumes myself but I loved browsing sites for other running costumes like goneforarun.com.

Monster Dash 5k was a success! Thank you everyone for your encouragement as I checked this off my goals list! My wish today was to run the whole thing and beat my best time of 33 minutes. I came in at 30:50.6!“

While it may not seem a big deal to some, it was an achievement for me. I’ve never considered myself a runner. Fast forward 3 months from setting a goal and I crossed this one off and moved onto the next goal! At 36, I started claiming the label “I am a runner” and encouraging others that you are never too old to start something new. We can all be dream catchers!

My first 5K: Monster Dash 5k 10/26/19

What’s Next?

I took a little break over the winter holidays and didn’t get much running in. In February, at Happy Hour my friend, Corrie, threw out the idea of running a half marathon together in December.  I actually laughed out loud at the idea. Even though I left it open, I had no intention of actually doing it when I left that evening. But after thinking on it for a week or so, decided that maybe with 40-plus weeks to train I could do it. I set a weekly training plan starting March 1st with a goal of finishing the 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 20 minutes. Yep, talk about audacious! But once you get that high from achieving  a dream you didn’t think was possible, the sky is the limit, so capitalize on it.

Shortly after, the Covid pandemic struck and we came back from a Spring Break camping trip to lockdown. The gym closed. Races were cancelled. My running journey could have stopped there.  But with all the media talk about underlying health conditions having such a huge impact on Covid outcomes, it sparked something strong in me – I was going to be as healthy as I could be if my family was exposed to this virus, especially my lungs. I started running outdoors regularly. It became my me-time (after being stuck in my home with my now-remote husband and my virtually-schooling kiddos), my stress relief, something I could actually control, and my exercise routine.

I started educating myself on how to push myself farther: allergy pills in Spring (lol!), path choice, breathing patterns, stretches, posture, audiobooks, music –and I share some of my top tips my blog post “My Top Tips for Beginning Runners.”

I started signing up for virtual races…

I celebrated every new personal best…

New personal record by over a mile! 5.5! Whoo hoo! #10kbound #virtualrace

March 28, 2020

Completed my 10k virtual race in exactly my goal time 1:05!! And 3 weeks earlier than I was originally planning on doing a live race. This goal has kept me motivated to keep running and strength training during all the current life changes going on and has been great therapy! I’ve logged 56.5 miles in the last 6 weeks! #virtualrace #10krun #goalgetter #strongerthanyouthink

April 10, 2020

Completed my 10k Bunny Hop virtual race

My 5 mile run today put me over another milestone…101.7 miles since March 1st when I made my training plan for a half marathon. I’ve pushed myself farther and faster than I ever thought was possible! Just because you’re a certain age or stage or have 0 experience doesn’t mean you can’t set audacious goals! #iamarunner #100mileclub #mondaymotivation #monslay

May 11, 2020

Well my virtual race medal is running late but I still knocked out my 15k today! #feelingstrong #rainydayrun #gotwet #9point3miles

May 16, 2020

Feeling strong after finishing my 15k Hot Chocolate Run

By early Fall, I felt pumped. I moved my Fitbit cardio fitness score based on VO2max in the “very good” range and lowered my resting heart rate to 59bpm from the mid-60s.

I added extra runs in just for fun like a virtual 5k supporting literacy for Dyslexia Awareness Month.

Success!

Then on October 3^rd, 2020 just over 14 months from my initial 5k dream, at 37, I completed a half-marathon. Yes, my feet ran all 13.1 miles. Alone. No mass of runners to feed off their energy. No side-line cheerleaders. No big finish line balloons and party. Me, myself, and I completed my virtual race (confirmed by my fitness tracker – so no cheating!) I beat my goal and finished in 1 hour and 55 minutes….8 weeks early from the original 40 week plan.

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Completed the Haunted Half Virtual Race

I’m continuing running, but at a slower pace, and have already completed an in-person 5k in 2021 and about to run in a quarter marathon. I’m enjoying running alongside friends at in-person races again and feeling the energy of a crowd. Do I have plans to go for a full marathon? No, not for now. For now, I’m enjoying the confidence, strength and energy I gained from it all.

So I hope that my running journey inspires you to try something bold, something that makes you laugh out loud today, and helps motivate you to push yourself far beyond anything you thought you could do. Just because we may be getting older or in a certain life stage, doesn’t mean we can’t still be learning, growing, and pushing our physical limits!

Here is how I display my medals. #ad
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Water – The Original No Calorie Drink

Have you ever played on of those “Break the Ice” introduction games that have you share a fun fact about yourself? My go-to is that I’ve never had a soda in my life. I love the shock value.

Technically I’ve tasted soda, twice. When I was a kid I had multiple allergies, one of which was corn and its byproducts. Corn syrup sweetens most carbonated beverages including sodas. So they were never offered and I grew up only drinking water, 100% fruit juices, and unsweetened tea. By the time I was old enough to outgrow my allergy and make my own food choices, I just didn’t like the taste.

So to some extent, I suppose drinking water comes easy to me but drinking enough is a different story.

This blog is about making small changes to your health and I think this is a great one to start with and turn into a habit.

We start hearing in elementary school health class that our body is 60% water and you should drink 8 glasses a day, but that doesn’t mean we do it.

Thousands have lived without love, not one without water.

-W. H. Auden

Water intake became more prominent for me when pregnant with baby #2 and I started having some scary symptoms that apparently were caused by dehydration. So I had serious motivation to get my amount of water up quickly.

I was working a 40+ hour/week desk job at the time and the easiest way for me to remember to drink enough was to start out with it at my desk. I started buying SMART water bottles that come in 1L (33.8oz) and 1.5L (50oz) and would refill mid-day. I could easily tell how successful I was in acheiving my goal. I’d reuse my bottles for days at a time but admit this isn’t a very environmentally friendly (much less cost effective) process but it got me to establish the habit quickly while on the go. #ad

Fast forward a year and now I’m a busy SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) consumed with caring for my little ones and often not remembering to fuel myself well.

I started hearing about the benefits of H20 again from the social media influencers I followed and decided I wanted those benefits!

• helps the body function properly
• boosts mood
• gets rid of excess toxins
• reduces wrinkles and helps maintain your skin’s elasticity
• can aid in weight loss when increased prior to meals
• can help to curb overeating when your body confuses hunger and thirst
• aids digestion and prevent constipation
• normalizes blood pressure and stabilize the heartbeat
• cushions joints

You want all those benefits too, right?! As I get older, I definitely want all those skin and heart health improvements. I’ve tried all sorts of eye creams for those under eye bags and dark circles but I’m convinced its the weeks that I drink all my water that I see the most improvement in that area.

Pure water is the world’s first and foremost medicine”

-Slovakian Proverb

So just how much water do I need to drink?

As a general guide, an adult male needs about 3 liters (101 ounces or 15.5 cups) per day while an adult female needs about 2.2 liters (74 ounces or 11.5 cups) per day, some of which is contained in the food we eat. To calculate how much you personally need for both health and weight loss benefits:

• Take your weight in pounds and multiply by 2/3 (or 67%) to determine how much water to drink daily in ounces.
• If you are exercising, you will want to adjust that number based on how often you work out since you are expelling water when you sweat. You should add 12 ounces of water to your daily total for every 30 minutes that you work out.

For example:
100 pounds | 67 ounces
150 pounds | 100 ounces
200 pounds | 134 ounces
250 pounds | 168 ounces

What worked for me

Scientists say that if you already feel thirsty, then you are already dehydrated. I needed something to take the guess work out and help me remember. There are apps you can use to log your ounces, including my FitBit, and I tried, but I couldn’t remember exactly how many ounces I had when it was handy to log. Like before, I decided to start out with the full amount in the morning and fell in love with these water bottles that give you a “countdown” with the time of day and some motivational saying like “Almost There.” They are close enough to my calculated goal that I typically just drink one. #ad

My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t like to haul the big jug so he chose a smaller one plus more durable as well as insulated and knows he has to fill it up at least 3 times a day to hit his goal. #ad

Water is the only drink for a wise man.”

-Henry David Thoreau

How to build the habit

Remember it takes 21 days to make a new habit. Will you challenge yourself to drink more water this month?

• Take a day to jot down your current water intake so you know where your starting. You can use a tracking app or pen & paper.
• Start small with one of the many tricks people use to drink more water
  • Keep a water bottle visible (my favorite trick!)
  • Get a filter pitcher and keep refrigerated for a refreshing cold drink available anytime
  • Add a flavor with fresh cucumber, lemon or fruit or buy flavored packets to add in
  • Set a time and make it a routine like drinking a glass of water before that morning cup of joe
  • Don’t forget to pay attention to your body – are you hungry? bored? Drink a glass of water before you eat and you’ll often learn the difference. Thirst is often misinterpreted as hunger.
  • Add a glass after any outdoor activity in the heat

If one of these doesn’t work for you, pick another. Some days I don’t drink all my water and load up on unsweet tea for that caffeine boost. It’s about progress not perfection. Drinking just a few more ounces of water than yesterday is better for your health!

#ad

Sources:

https://www.usgs.gov/special-topic/water-science-school/science/water-you-water-and-human-body?qt-science_center_objects=0#

https://www.restoreorthobiologic.com/blog/how-calculate-how-much-water-you-should-drink-day/

https://www.mayoclinic.org/want-to-stay-hydrated-drink-before-youre-thirsty/art-20390077

https://www.pureluxemedical.com/blog/7-ways-drinking-water-helps-improve-skin

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/how-much-water-should-you-drink

Vision Boards aren’t just for 5th Graders

Are you a visual person? Love being creative?

Go old school and create a vision board! First you have to identify what your dreams and goals are – go back and read my post on goal setting – then grab a bunch of magazines and a pair of scissors and get to work!

Here’s mine from 2019. It was hanging in my closet so I would see it regularly.

Homemade Vision Board

Are you tech savvy? Create a digital vision board instead. Save it to your phone backdrop so it stays top of mind.